She is developing a new muscle called surrender. Far too long, she’s gone on overdrive to plan everything. She believed that if she organised, scheduled and calculated meticulously, she could control outcomes & avoid surprises. It was the way she took care of her neurosis. This also meant that if she was not perpetually stressed, something was wrong.
Then she began a journey into her own self. By loving, honouring, claiming her body, heart and soul.
That is when she discovered the reality that the universe is her strongest ally. It was her fears, and not her world, that was out to get her. By giving up the story that her world is unsafe, she’s coming into trust that she is held and cherished by the universe. She no longer predicts her future from a place of fear.
She is becoming relaxed and confident. She’s in a loving, co-creative relationship with her world. She’s learning that as she relaxes into trust, her longings show themselves to her, and light up her the path. She makes her prayer, offers her sankalpa, and lets it go. She can now wait without despairing. She’s getting an insight into the inner workings of the universe. Her deepest plan already exists. She can begin to see that now, and it is hugely re-assuring.
Synchronicity & easy manifestation is how her world is now. She’s getting used to being pampered by the universe.
She could never read maps. She now realises why. There’s a special kind of map she’s called to follow, and she’s re-learning her navigation skills.
She reads this map with her inner knowing. She downloaded it with her sankalpa to walk her path. This special map is lit with the light of her longing. The more she leans into her longing, the clearer her direction. Initially, she would be a bit confused, reluctant to give up her planning and caution, but it had the price of becoming lost. The map gifts her efficiency, economy & joy. Her body is her most powerful ally in reading the map.
The entire map never really shows up. Just the bit she’s standing on appears. She’s so content with not knowing the future. She’s learning to become still and dives into the rich moment. As she’s coming into present time, she makes the amazing discovery that it’s the only place the ego cannot come. She’s pure and safe here.
The key to her map is surrender. The more she trusts it, the more it teaches her ~ and she has begun to believe that eventually, every dot will be connected, even the most baffling ones. That’s because it’s not a linear map ~ it has cycles within cycles. It is such a freedom being directed and supported from within.
She’s walking towards her true North. The map is within her, and the map is her.
Some days, she deeply connects to an unnamed longing. She does not remember its origin. It can be triggered by a fragrance, a colour, a sound, an expression, a dream or the way the sunlight slants through the trees. She wonders at the exquisite pain of it.
She simply knows that one end of it is connects to her heart ~ and she feels a tug at the other end.She is learning to lean deeper into it. Touching it is like a melting ~ a dissolving of the spaces in her heart. Sometimes it brings tears, and she may cry. Oh! what unrequited love affair is this?
This longing is a remembrance, it does not yet have a name ~ it goes deeper than her memory. She is learning to use it as a compass to show her the way ~ when she is very still, very alert, she can hear its whispered message. There is a mysterious magnetic pull in it.
She too is speaking to her longing. Whoever or whatever is on the other end of it longs for her too. She knows this longing will reveal to her who she really is. Whenever it comes, she feels touched by grace.