She’s reclaiming the holy dark


Art: Anne-Claire Payet

“The spirit of the valley never dies;
This is called the dark female.
The doorway into the dark female
Is called the root of heaven and earth.
It is there within us all the while;
Draw upon it as you will, it never runs dry.”

-Tao Te Ching 6


She’s reclaiming her dark feminine as she heals the split. The word dark has been used to scare her away from the fullness of her essence for a long time. She was programmed into a belief that only light is pure, and the dark is evil. And thus was she separated from her power. She was allowed to live and experience only the ‘good’ girl, and a very large part of her existence became unsanctioned. She got split between good & bad, and she was told that the good would get her acceptance & the bad would get her rejection. Her raw, mystical, wild, shamanic self was banished into the underground, to be perhaps visited in dreams.

Her dark is nothing but her denied feminine. It is primal, NOT evil.

As her fear is disappearing, she’s refusing to live in guilt anymore. She’s untangling from shame, the single most powerful weapon to chain her. Her frequent journeys underground have revealed to her the immense power of the dark. She’s discovering she was never evil. All that she had hidden away in the dark was actually quite cool. It was just that she would have been too dangerous. She’s reclaiming her wildness fully and unabashedly now. She knows that the dark is where things take birth. Deep in the earth’s womb is where the seed germinates, deep in her dark womb is where life begins to form.

A connection to the dark brings her face to face to her mystical connection with life, death and rebirth. She accessing the power of blood mysteries. She’s travelling to the center of the universe, the black light of the cosmic womb, her most nourishing place now. She’s reclaiming Kali, Lilith, Baba Yaga in her.

In her embrace of her dark feminine, she’s healing the split of spirit from matter, heaven from earth, sacred from profane, human from divine, light from dark.

She’s sacred. And it has no opposite.


She’s reclaiming her underground mystery


Photo by Brooke Shaden

These are powerful times for the feminine. This is particularly her time to be called to adventure. The heroine hears her call when the ache of separation from the deep feminine becomes unbearable. Her soul thirst can no more be quenched by hollow compromises or synthetic spirituality. She knows this is the time to look for the real watering hole.

Her Yearning to connect to that which is true feminine becomes her initiation into her descent. This yearning builds her soul-light that illuminates her way underground ~ as she goes forth to reclaim her treasure. And she does not do this alone. Her sisters stand fierce vigil, singing and holding torch lights to light her way down. Their songs comfort her as she forages through the thorns and brambles, retrieving the lost, denied pieces of her soul from the deep dark. She’s had a terror of the dark, the terror of the underground, of getting lost, of being left alone ~  Every fear she steps over on her way down, vaporizes the demon she thought was real,  & retrieves a piece of her power back.

As she moves deeper, she discovers a dark, quiet river of crystal water. When she bathes in it, she is transformed forever. She emerges back from her great underground adventure with a holy radiance. Her body is restful, and her womb temple is glowing.

The underground gifts her a new immune system that makes her strong, resilient and invincible to all that used to crush her spirit before. She’s building a beautiful relationship with the dark underground. And while she’s down there, her existence in her world is very quiet and still. She becomes ‘absent’ for a while.

The world celebrates this awakening woman.

She’s walking into her pain


The Feminine is finally meeting her pain respectfully. Her pain is her oldest teacher. Also the one she’s avoided facing at all costs. Finally, she’s putting her attention there. It is specially hard to stay fully present in it, and not run away.

Her sankalpa is to shift her consciousness. It is coming from a space that is larger than her contractions. Her practice is to continue to breathe into her ‘not knowing’. Slowly, as she experiences her dark, agonising spaces without resistance, it begins to take her through the dark alleys of lifetime after lifetime of victim/aggressor responses. She walks through walls after walls of defences, the lamp of her sacred intent her only companion.

And at the end of the tunnel, she meets love. Intense, blinding, golden, shimmering love. She melts into it.

On her journey back, she brings as much of this love as she needs, and begins to repair her fragmented life, replenish her atrophied arteries, and feeds the cramped and aching parts. Her malnourished parts begin to perk up, & her body begins to shift at a cellular level. Her pain body ~ a companion of lifetimes ~ begins to transform into a glow body. The dull ache in her lower back begins to dissolve and with it, all her collected, calcified anger. The area around her hips and womb begins to soften. Every time she enters deep into her fear without defence, she brings more gold back for her body.

She is eating sacred food. Her trips for gold are becoming shorter, as the love comes closer with every visit underground. Her glow is unmistakable.

She’s choosing love.

Her wisdom and her messiness


So often, when we see a woman reckless or failing in love, or if her life is a mess, or she is making too many mistakes, or she is close to being a wreck, we think she is stupid. We think she lacks the intelligence to live life. Never under-estimate a woman who is suffering ~ who seems to be making risky choices. She is deep in lesson. She is visiting the underground, she is making sense of life in some invisible way ~ the fragmentation in her life could be a precursor to a new resurgence.
She could well stun you with some home truths.